Not Goodbye, But See You Later

Yesterday, I said goodbye to my dear friend, Felipe, after his courageous battle with brain cancer.

 I've written about him before; he inspired me in so many ways. Felipe was kind, vivacious, and a friend to so, so many. He was the one who would BBM me after a rough day. The one who would wrap me in a giant hug every time we met. Felipe lit up the room; I will miss his infectious laugh, his wide smile, he eternal optimism. He truly was one of a kind, and words can't quite describe just how precious of a friend he was to all of us. How lucky we were to share his magic for even just a few years.

A close mutual friend told me something this evening... one of the only things that has brought some comfort in the past few days. "Felipe will live on through us," he wrote. "Everything we do and accomplish will be his accomplishments too. He is a part of everything we do."

And from this point on, he will be.

Blog Tag: What's in Your Bag?

The Journey

 

Favorite Beauty Products: December 2012

Tragedy

"When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.' To this day, especially in times of 'disaster,' I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers - so many caring people in this world."
-Mister Rogers

What happened yesterday in Newtown, Connecticut was absolutely, unbelievably tragic.
My heart physically aches for those families... there are no words.

All I can think of right now is my "babies," all of my preschool students I taught over the course of four years while in college. While students are in your care, they become your children... you'd do anything to protect them, putting yourself in the line of fire to prevent them from any pain. That's what six brave educators did yesterday. The fact that all of those practice lockdowns became a worst-case reality for Sandy Hook Elementary yesterday kills me.
This cannot possibly be the world we live in.

Humanity is hurting right now... the world needs to be healed.

It begins in our own communities. Right here, right now.

Pray for a change, but also take action.

Treat people well. Raise children to love one another. Reach out to others.

Goodness breeds goodness.

Reflection

Imagine you had everything you wanted. Everything.

Imagine you were everything you ever wanted to be.

Capture that feeling.

That's the easiest way to manifest what you want.

That's all God wants. To make us happy.

You've gotta trust... trust in the end result.

Trust that it will always be the best for you at that time.

That's how I looked at my whole life.

If I want it, if I believe I can have it... then that's my reality.

I'll attract it, it will attract to me.

We can make any situation we think about real.

Fuck letting life pass you by.

Enjoy the journey.

Enjoy the journey of making all your dreams and goals reality.

The journey makes you who you are.

Music Monday

"The person that I truly envy is the one that I wanna be."

New visual from Jon Connor (directed by Puma), which also happens to be one of my favorite tracks from "While You Were Sleeping." Enjoy, my loves.

I'm Back!

 

I've been back in New York this week for work...
and again, I've been reminded of how happy I am when I'm here in the city.

My amazing boss and I have accomplished so much in just a few days;
the energy of this city is just infectious. I can never get enough of it.

Walking through the West Village last night,
I thought about how I wish I could always feel the way that I do when I'm here.

Maybe it's something I need to carry with me when I'm not in this amazing place.
Maybe the magic of New York is in me all along.

Jon Connor's "Scriptures"

MAC Making Pretty Holiday 2012

 Totally blown away by MAC's Making Pretty holiday collection this year.
If packaging could resemble a person, I'm pretty positive this collection screams me. ;)

What It's Like to Be a Motherless Daughter

For the most part, I'm just like any other girl that's just starting out in life. But then there are moments- random ones, usually- that will occasionally hit me. Times like now, at 1:41 AM on a random rainy Tuesday that I can't sleep. I don't really talk about it... I pride myself on being strong and capable, the girl that takes care of everyone else.
But sometimes I just need my mom.

Picking out pots and pans (and everything else) for my first place. Having someone tell me I'm ridiculous for buying the 4" Louboutins that I clearly can't walk in. Trying to figure out how to NOT burn cookies in an oven that undoubtedly burns everything. It's the little things. I want to know what she would think of where I'm at in this stage of my life. Did she feel the same uncertainty that I feel at this age? I want to share with her how excited I was when I got back from New York, or how it felt the first time I saw my design work in print. I'd want to see her reaction to seeing me in the music video. I know she'd be so excited to hear about an amazing deal I got at TJ Maxx, or the details of a great date, or a gorgeous lip color I'd finally found. It just seems that the loss becomes more apparent as I grow older... and it seems to me that her absence will be felt even more as I grow up, get married and have my babies. What advice would she give me? What would she want me to know? And truthfully, how the hell am I supposed to figure this all out on my own?

For the most part, I have learned how to figure it out on my own... which has made me a stronger, wiser person. But I'd be lying if I said it's been easy. I have friends who barely know how to do laundry; I've been a pro since I was 12. I worry about my dad eating properly. Yet I feel things in a way that most people my age don't; giving me a sensitivity and compassion that I am grateful for. I've also been blessed with amazing family and friends that have become like family to me. But I'm not going to sugarcoat the truth: the occasional moments of realization of what I'm missing... what she's missing makes me sad. A mother can never be replaced; not at age 3. Not at age 24.

No silver lining in this post. No cute little inspirational quote. Just truth.

My First Music Video: Jon Connor's "Missing You"

Despite the crazy, unexpected nature of my life... I guess I never expected I would be in a rap video. Never say never, clearly, because here I am in one. haha. When Jon Connor asked me to be the lead girl in "Missing You," I was a bit surprised- how often do you get asked something like that? I always say that life is short and I want to truly soak in every opportunity... so I did, and I had such a great time. The entire experience was so fun and such a cool process.

Please check out Jon's music, because he truly is such a talented lyricist. Before I was even involved in the "Missing You" project, I was already a big fan of this song. I think the lyrics are definitely something that most people can relate to... whether you've ever missed someone, or you're "the one that got away." More so, Jon is one of the nicest people around, and deserves all of the notoriety he has gotten lately. Always enjoy being around good, genuine people.

Download Jon Connor's recent mixtape, "While You Were Sleeping," for free here.

P.S. The bow made it into the video. Beauty with a Bow. Always. ;)

NYFW Runway Photos

Having been amidst work and the hunt for a perfect condo (YES! My FIRST place!), I just haven't had much time to devote to this blog. My apologies, because I have so much I want to share from my amazing week in New York for the collections of S/S '13. It truly was an amazing, amazing experience and a moment that will stick in my memory for years to come. For now, here are a few runway shots I captured from J. Mendel, Milly, Whitney Eve, and Anna Sui.

All my best,

Official Taylorism

Love,

 

Video Blog: September 2012